


What it Means

by Marsmiims



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3585738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsmiims/pseuds/Marsmiims
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>to be Hokage, or to build a village. Tobirama deals with his team and his brother's while watching a young man grow up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What it Means

The first time Tobirama sees the boy is at a sparring session between his own team and his brothers.

He starts as a child, and then he grins and it is something fierce. It brings Tobirama back to the Uchiha he faced in his youth, grim ragged faces and ferocious smiles all, but really he sees who must have been the boy's mother (He mostly remembers the pang he felt upon learning of her death). And in that moment all the oxygen leave his lungs. The boy faces Koharu, seven years old with sharingan his blazing. The smile vanishes, in it's place a grim-downturned-line of a mouth.

Tobirama signals the start with two fingers and the boy races across the water. It takes three attacks for Tobirama to recognize his father, another two for him to recognize that Koharu is absolutely outmatched in taijutsu and three more for the young man to send her sprawling. When it is all over the boy is there by her side, quietly waiting for her to dust herself off. She does not ask for his hand and he does not hold it out. Still, Tobirama can see it offered. He wonders whom that comes from.

Later that night he briefs his exhausted older brother. Hashirama hasn't been the same since he fought Madara. And though Tobirama tries to help in any way that he can, the village is not his. So Tobirama does what he can, and hearing about their students always brings a smile to his brother’s face.

"Sarutobi is particularly skilled, but Danzo matches him well."

"Does he? How so?"

Tobirama pauses, how to answer this, "One day Sarutobi will have to make decisions he won't like, Danzo will help him do this."

But Hashirama knows more about his own team than Tobirama does, "Danzo has a steel in him that this generation will need if they are too make this village work."

Although already the village is doing exactly what Hashirama intended, keeping children off the battlefield.

"And Kagami-kun?" Hashirama's face creases into a smile as he asks.

The muscles in Tobirama's face tense as he tries to keep a grimace from his face, "a very talented Uchiha," he can always trust his brother to bring up things best left forgotten.

"A very talented shinobi."

Even Tobirama recognizes that they are one and the same.

Shimura Danzo, Akimichi Torifu and Uchiha Kagami. It's an interesting combination, and one that would not have happened in the days before the founding. He lies to himself for a bit, says he isn't curious, but in reality he is. Things being as they are though, his brother's team quickly slips from his mind. He has his own team to think about after all.

Still they come up. Sometimes his team quips about the other amongst themselves, "Danzo learned that last month, are you sure you can keep up Sarutobi" or "I saw Kagami waiting at the corner of your street Koharu, what was that?" (The last one comes with waggled eyebrows on Sarutobi's part and a frown from Homura). But those occasions are few and far between, and if they say more, he's certainly never heard it.

The boy, Kagami, is eight when Tobirama next sees him, tracing his finger over a name on the memorial stone. Most people visit graves, but those shinobi (or kunoichi) whose bodies are not recovered get a carving on the memorial stone. It had been Madara's idea, a way to remember those who otherwise would be forgotten. Sometimes Tobirama thinks spitefully that it is the only good things Madara came up with. But then Madara changed after his brother's death.

The boy is tall for an Uchiha, but sitting in the wet grass with his knees tucked under his chin, he looks small. It is a private moments, one so private that Tobirama considers leaving. But before he goes, the boy stands up and notices him there.

"Tobirama-sama."

Tobirama frowns and crosses his arms, "Tobirama-sensei is fine," he does not like useless titles.

The boy wipes his face, it is only when he does it that Tobirama notices he had been crying. It makes the situation even more awkward. He has never been good a comforting people.

"Tobirama-sensei?" Kagami tastes the name, feels it, "Is Tobirama-sensei here for somebody too?"

Wasn't everybody? Some of his best friends, his family, even his old lover… There are many people on that stone. Uchiha as well, sometimes he forgets, but not now, not when so young a man stands before him holding back his tears.

"Yes," he points to Sarutobi Sasuke's name and his cousin Touka's.  
Kagami reads his name out loud and says, "I've heard that name before. He was a great shinobi… And Saru's father. Why did he die?"

"Many people die for this village."

"Why?"

"Because it is worth dying for."

Kagami frowns trying to wrap his mind around the idea of sacrifice, "Why is it worth it?"

How to explain his own childhood? The reasons for creating this village? The rules and regulations, the people? The children?

"This village is the closest thing to peace many have ever had."

Young men tend to let every emotion slide across their faces. But this is not the case with Kagami. He looks solemnly up at the older man and tries to understand. Turning to the stone again, Kagami traces two names on it, one after the other.

Many things stir in the deep recesses of Tobirama's heart, he recognizes both of them, "Your parents?"

Kagami starts then stands, "Yes... um, Tobirama…sensei. I should be going home," he jogs down the stone steps and with a quick hesitant turn, waves goodbye.

It is a very simple gesture, one that Tobirama absently returns, before turning his gaze to the boy's mother. An Uchiha to the core and proud and strong, she represented everything he had despised in the family. But dwelling on the past does him no good in the present. He has a meeting with his brother to get too.

Perpetually smiling, somebody had described Hashirama to him that way once. It hadn't been a compliment. His brother is asleep when Tobirama walks into the room. That is typical Hashirama as well. A slap to the right pile of paper sends them all tumbling down onto his figure. Hashirama starts and glares at him.

"What was that for?"

"You were asleep."

"You were late…?"

Somehow Hashirama had managed to tag a question to the end of the statement.

"Memorial stone."

The memorial stone puts a damper on even the most cheerful conversation.

"Visiting?"

He sighs, "Your student was there- the Uchiha."

"Kagami-kun?" Hashirama smiles and then laughs, before sobering, "I wish his mother could see him. She would be very proud."

There is something unsaid that gleams in Hashirama's eyes. Usually, when Hashirama does something like this Tobirama ignores him, this time though, something is different.

"What?" he crosses his arms.

"His father should be too."

"Bishamon would be, you have seen his taijutsu," Tobirama waves away his brothers statement with a well-put together argument. He does not want to talk about it.

Hashirama tries to add something else but Tobirama's face closes off so he says nothing more.

And he doesn't bring it up ever again. Because a few months later he is assassinated on the way to Iwa and the first great Shinobi war starts. It is an eruption.

And Tobirama finds himself with his brother's team, and his brother's position and his brother's dream and his brother's (and Madara's) village. The first year is hell. 

He establishes the Anbu to keep track of the everything and do his dirty work- the things he can't do alone.

For that first year, all he sees and smells and tastes is blood. But he keeps his teams out of the war. He never understood child soldiers, not even when he was one himself. So when, during one of the ceasefires, he finds himself home, he is grateful to find his team(s) still intact. They have trained themselves it seems in his absence. When one excels in a certain area, he (or she) takes over training. Though the idea is rudimentary, they have gotten stronger.

Sarutobi takes the lead with Danzo lunging in his wake and Kagami ambling after them at his own pace (somehow he keeps up). The other three only sigh at their antics. On the hill above them Tobirama watches and his heart is warmed. This, he thinks, is what the village is meant for.

Sarutobi sees him first, at ten he still dives at his teacher. Tobirama learned to tolerate this long ago and sighs somewhat affectionate and pats his head. Homura and Koharu are close behind, both exasperated by their teammates antics, but used to it as well. 

The other team stands reluctantly, awkwardly, in the distance. None of them are close to the second brother. It is Hashirama, open, big-hearted Hashirama, that they loved. The Uchiha- Kagami- stands with his arms crossed, he does not know what to do.

For a moment he is struck by this, the solemn boy. And then Danzo says something and Kagami cracks a smile, one that bristles with that sharp Uchiha charm.

Then all three approach as a unit and Tobirama is a teacher for two teams. It is bittersweet, he trains them to be killers so that they might defend themselves when the time comes. For soon they will be sent to the battlefield.

Nobody would ever know it, but Tobirama treasures his time with his two teams. Saru is a star, bright and above all of the others, and there is Danzo, a shadow in his wake. But sometimes it is the Uchiha boy who catches his eye. Smiles slide quickly from his face and there is a hardness to him neither of his parents ever had. On his team, Koharu has the most grit, she can stand up to almost anything. But Kagami is unyielding. So it is a surprise to learn that his second nature affinity is water. Among the Uchiha water is a rare thing, he only knows of one other (and it isn't the boy's mother).

But what surprises Tobirama most is the day that the boy asks to train under him.

"Fire is my clans specialty, but water… And well, I could ask my aunty, but she already has enough to worry about at the academy and Koharu-chan's genjutsu. So please Hogake-sama, take me as your student."

Tobirama crosses his arms and looks down at the boy, he who is so different from the majority of his power-hungry clan. Kagami stands looking up at him, his shoulders are held back and proud, but his pronounced frown (the buckle in the skin on his chin) gives away how much effort asking him truly takes. The boy is afraid of rejection and still lacks the prejudice that so many of the older members of his clan are imbued with.

"Tobirama-sensei, that is what you will call me from now on." It is the second time he has pronounced this to the boy.

When Tobirama nods his ascent he is momentarily stunned by the radiance of the boy's smile. That he could bring that kind of look to anybody's face, let alone a member of the Uchiha clan, almost makes him take a step back. The moment passes quickly though. The boy's smile twists into one meant for an Uchiha, all cut edges and triumph, "I told Saru I could ask you."

From then on Tobirama's life is war and war and war speckled with flashes of silver and gold. He pits Saru against Torifu and Danzo against Koharu's genjutsu and Homura against himself. Then he watches as Kagami devours the essence of water-based jutsu, and all without the sharingan (Because that was his condition).

Behind it all though, politics lurks. The Uchiha bite at the reins. Many of them resent what they are beginning to call a Senju dynasty. And maybe they are right, but Tobirama is the strongest the village has to offer. Izuna, Madara and Hashirama are all dead. Who, then, if not him, should take the helm? After many nights drawing out suitable options a solution appears in the form of the Military police. The Uchiha are the only clan capable of maintaining it, or that is at least what he tells himself. It is a respite, and for a moment all is quite, then he heads back to war.

One day, on the battlefield, he watches an Uchiha lose his son. It is a tragic thing. The boy gasps through wet lungs and coughs up blood and begs his father to go home. But the man in enraged. He loosens himself from his comrades and as an arrow shoots off into the distance. Tobirama finds him later, mutilated- dead, with an indistinguishable thing across the way that once must have been a man.

Later than night he muses on fatherhood. It is an almost foreign concept. But then he thinks about the village and how he loves the village and the peace and stability it brings. How he would fight for it the way that the Uchiha fought for his already dying son. And then he thinks of Saru, and dismisses it. He will forever and always be the uncle the boy needs, but Sasuke Sarutobi, the irreplaceable myth of a man, will forever be enshrined as the boy's father. Throwing away ones life for a single person. That he does not understand.

And that is why he will never see eye to eye with the Uchiha.

War slows down in winter. The paths to lightning and Earth close off and Kiri's land is almost impassible with the unpredictable currents. In Konoha it is a grey cold, one that dampens the lungs and brings out aches in the bone. It even snows. But his teams drills on. They work, and Tobirama sees the future of Konoha. Young, but strong, the strongest of their year. Come spring, they shall be thrown to the wolves and might even be sacrifices. Because they are not children anymore. Not in the eyes of the village, though Hashirama might have said otherwise.

He is thinking of this when he passes the memorial stone again. When it was first placed there, Tobirama had wondered why it needed to be so large. Now he understands that it might not be large enough to last into the ages. Inside the walls it is peaceful, but that peace is build on sacrifice. It is a sacrifice he has grown accustomed to, one that he has even reconciled himself too, but the young. That understanding is not yet there. Something stirs at the foot of the stone.

A young man, wearing the black of the Uchiha clan. Kagami has grown since they last met this way. His shoulders are wider and he is taller and leaner. But even if physically he has grown, the boy still traces his mothers name on the stone. And just as last time, Tobirama makes to leave only to have Kagami stand up and face him again.  
There are no tears on his cheeks this time. His eyes are dry though dark circles mar them in a way that they had not before.

"Ho… Tobirama-sensei, who are you visiting this time?"

It isn't a single person in particular, "Everybody on that stone deserves to be remembered."

Kagami's lips turn up, it is an Uchiha smirk, but Tobirama can't bring himself to mind.

"That is very Hokage-like of you."

Sarcasm, Tobirama responds with a dead-pan, "I am Hokage."

The smirk disappears. His mother had always had some form a smile on her face, Kagami's default seemed to be a frown. At eleven he is confident, Tobirama has noticed it before. Danzo and Hiruzen constantly compare themselves to each other, and are constantly disappointed by what they see. This is not the case with Kagami. But the boy still has a hard time speaking openly with him. Tobirama is perturbed by it.

"What is it.”

"Well, Tobirama-sensei, forgive me, but you don't always look like you want to be Hokage."

His observation skills hadn't come from his mother either. Tobirama does not bother to answer the question, instead he asks one of his own.

"You are here for your parents?"

The boy straightens again, frowns and shrugs, "I don't really remember her. My mother. She died when I was… four."

Tobirama remembers that time well. He had been away on a mission, but he had come back and it had been Madara there, telling him of her death. Tobirama had not known what to do. For a man who prided himself in self-control, the fury and anger and sorrow he felt were compromising as well as embarrassing. In the end he had locked them away and hoped never to see them again. But that was before he had known that she even had a son. Tobirama looks down at the boy and thinks he should have been named for a telescope, not a mirror. The boy is like a lens to another time. He brings Tobirama to the past, and that is a dangerous thing.

In that moment, something strikes Tobirama, he looks down at the boy and says, "Your mother would have been proud."

Shock, it's the first thing that crosses Kagami's face, then his down-turned mouth pulls at the corners more. Then everything is gone and the boy stands before him tall and proud.

But still he asks, "You knew her?"

Tobirama nods, and then makes another admission, "… and your father."

Kagami presses his lips together and looks up at Tobirama perplexed, "My father… Bishamon-san?"

There is no reply, Tobirama does not need to give one.

The boy shrugs slightly and continues, "Bishamon was not my father. Just a close family friend. He trained me you know," then he adds, "That actually isn't a well known fact outside of the clan. So…"

Tobirama's brows rise to his hairline. That he had not expected. Though now that he thinks about it, he can see that it is true. 

Bishamon had been tiny, and Kagami was already looking to be a giant in the clan.

"Clan politics does not interest me."

Kagami gives him what must be smile, then remembers himself and bows.

"Hokage-sama."

They do not see each other for a few days, and when he does the boy is grim. He has exhausted himself trying to wrangle the shape into the jutsu. It eludes him, but water-release has both form and function. The boy struggles with the first, though the second comes natural. But it is the way that he keeps pushing that Tobirama finds himself admiring. Especially when he could use the sharingan and simply copy the move flawlessly. He pauses before the boy, crosses his arms and watches him struggle.

"You cannot force water easily, guide it into it's shape."  
"Guide," he threw his hands up, "what does that mean?"

"Don't force it."

Kagami frowned and looked up a Tobirama from the corner of his eye, mimicking him, " 'Don't force it' …some teacher you are."

Across the shore Homura rolls his eyes, "Maybe you just can't do it."

Kagami's almost smile becomes a defined frown. He looks too the shore, forms his hands efficiently and sends a surprise wave towards the other shinobi. Homura leaps out of the way of the first one, but lands as the second comes his way. When he surfaces all Homura sees is Kagami's self-satisfied smirk. Kagami doesn't say anything but somehow he conveys his derision.

Seeing a confrontation, Tobirama steps in, "Homura, you were working on sealing," it is as close to a dismissal as he has ever given one of his students, "Kagami, that is what I meant. Do not force- guide."

It is not a compliment, not really, but Kagami looks grim, something Tobirama has come to associate with the young man's determination. And Tobirama watches with pride as Kagami masters the concept that had baffled him for so long. Kagami's frustration turns to pride, winter changes to spring and children become adults.

War rides it's red horse back to Konoha and Tobirama is pulled once more into its sorrow and chaos, but so are his students. They bring their innocence like lambs to the temples of heathen gods, and leave in the evenings soaked in blood and anger and unanswered questions. His is partnered with his old team, sometimes, and they rise to the challenge. In them he sees the future of Konoha and he no longer worries about what will happen when he is gone. 

And they all grow up.

The next time he sees Kagami the boy isn't a boy but a young man. Tobirama is the leader of the platoon the Uchiha's team has been placed in and he can't believe the change. The boy had died and an angry young man with dark-ringed eyes and a grim smile had risen in his place. And they are good. And they are indoctrinated into war, they grow and age with it. Tobirama watches as he drowns his innocence in a ceremony called war. An entire generation does it.

Years pass, and Tobirama watches them all grow.

One day in particular sticks out for Tobirama. Kagami momentarily distracts him with a water jutsu he had struggled with as a child and the Hokage cannot help but feel a swell of pride on seeing it. When the battle is over they make eye contact and the young man salutes him mockingly.

That wipes away any pride he feels in the boy. He scowls. Typical Uchiha he thinks.

But when Kagami fights he is all business. Most shinobi don't see him till he is already there and by then they might as well be dead. By the time they are fifteen Tobirama knows that Saru will be the next Hokage, he does not question this. But he recognizes that there will be many strong shinobi in the coming generation. Tobirama is proud to have seen them all grow. Though he wishes he could spare them the pain of war.

Because it takes their toll on them. He can see it most with Kagami. As a boy he smiled, but he grows into his grimness. And with this exhaustion comes determination. Kagami does not give up, but he displays a surprising level of pragmatism on the field. Tobirama watches him use himself and others as bait to lure out the enemy, watches as he falls apart afterwards because he hates what he has to do on the battlefield. But most of all Tobirama watches as the boy begins to understand sacrifice. It is the sacrifice of his mother and every other name on the memorial stone. Tobirama watches him grow and wishes he weren't Uchiha.

War continues and the world turns to ash. Mentally Tobirama feels trapped. He has given everything for his village and has almost nothing to show for it. But Tobirama loves the village, it comes first.  
It all comes to head when Tobirama is in his forties. They are trapped and surrounded and there is no way out.

They argue about what needs to be done, but Kagami hits the nail on the head, "Someone will have to lure them away."

Yes, someone will, and with his fingers on the ground and surrounded by the current generation, Tobirama listens to them bicker. And it is then that he comes to his decision.

"I will be the decoy… you are the bright young flames who must protect the village."

There is a stunned silence at his pronouncement, then they start to protest. Saru will be Hokage, that much he knows. Danzo will not like it, but they must work together.

"What we need now is unity. Don't bring your personal squabbles into this."

Tobirama says more, words to Saru and declares him Hokage, then he marches to what he knows will be his doom. The others file away behind him, they will live because he dies.

The lightning-nin are skilled, but he destroys as many of them as he can. In the end, he is not enough. They have practiced for him. Twenty to one, not good odds for anyone, especially when they are skilled. They kill him, but before he dies he thinks.

The village is in good hands. Saru will be a great Hokage and Danzo loves the village. Homura and Koharu are a team, though they do not always like each other. While Torifu is perhaps the kindest of the six, though that by no means makes him weak. Lastly he sees at Kagami, Tobirama knows that he would return his gaze with all the intensity of his clan. In him Tobirama sees persistence and pragmatism and determination. It is almost like looking into a mirror, or a least a mirror that reflects what the viewer would look like as an Uchiha. His mother would be proud.

The thought is perplexing, but it brings him back to something his brother said.

'His father should be too.'

The revelation hits him hard. Part of him has always known. The other did not know what to do with an Uchiha as a son.

Tobirama had loved once. She had been ferocious and proud, and she had loved him and the village too. She had ended it though, when she realized he could never forgive the circumstances of her birth. She was also Kagami's mother.

Tobirama dies, but before he does he breaks his own heart for the second time in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> When I first wrote this I liked the idea of Tobirama falling in love with an Uchiha, and not really knowing what to do about it. In this fic, he deals with the unintended consequences of that love, and faces his own prejudice- at the end. 
> 
> Tobirama was one of my favorite characters in Naruto, for whatever reason, I am fond of people who recognize the importance of infrastructure. He was also complicated, and fun to write.
> 
> It has a few changes, but mostly stays true to the original. 
> 
> Please feel free to tell me what you think.
> 
> First published on ff.net on 3/11/2013


End file.
